Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize