I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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