I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
