hell yes lets make some ravioli
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
