Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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