I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
