Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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