Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
