So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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