i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
