Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
