Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
