One girl and one boy is just not enough.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
only if we run a train.
done.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
