It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
