Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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