I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
