the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
