We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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