You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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