martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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