that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
