i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
