Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
