Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
