if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
