im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
