are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
