she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize