Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
