...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sober January is a disaster.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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