Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
