yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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