I wannas sexs uuuuu
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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