hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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