i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So much Jack, so little girl.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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