He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize