we're blogging at a bar
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
