I think i peed on brittanys purse
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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