You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
