You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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