Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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