I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My dick has a subreddit
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
