so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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