is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
