if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
