sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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