"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Green mimosas i think yes
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
