My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
