I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
