He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
