how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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