It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
