watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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