You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
