This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
