i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
