i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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