need another drink. this is the easiest way
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
