Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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