Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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