she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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