I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
