you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
