rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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