Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i will never coherently bang her
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize