And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
