He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
third nipple confirmed
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
