are you still at the devil's house?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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