He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize