You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
