yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
