the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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