So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
