He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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