She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
