you guys were way drunker than both of me
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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