I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
