I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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