3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
