omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
