ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's never too late to be topless.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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