i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize