what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
