I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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