he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
